What do you do when you find yourself on the brink? It's like standing in a doorway. Either you enter, or you turn and back away. But no one stands in the threshold and stays there, permanently. And then suddenly the person that was standing next to you, holding your hand, kindly and gently escorting you to the grandest house in town stops. This is your night. You, the guests of honor, will soon be greeted with smiles and hugs. You both hesitate. The doorbell has not yet been rung. It's a little breezy outside and frankly quite chilly. Your silvered jewelry twinkles in the night, as do his deep sea-green eyes. You can read something there, a depth of emotion that does not often appear. What is it? [Beat]. [x2]. Finally he speaks, in that raspy voice you've come to long for--this is the tone that signals that something's coming, something important, something you want to hear...
--"Are you really sure we should go in? Because I just don't know..." What?????
Anything but this! You waited for a "I'm so overwhelmingly delighted to be with you" or "there's so many people here" or "you're beautiful" no. Suddenly, at the moment--the one you had been waiting and planning weeks for--you were going to take the plunge, throw caution to the wind and risk something for him. No, at the moment the most difficult, most trying, most cruel, he doesn't know anymore. You were about to jump out the airplane, pull your parachute chord, and squeal with joy as the wind blew your hair. But suddenly he pulls back and hesitates... (But pardon. I'm mixing my metaphors. Back to the party...) Suddenly, your beautiful dress and perfectly arranged hair is forgotten. The painful stillettos on your feet don't mean a thing. The only thing that matters is....you're about to lose the only thing that matters to you. Worse than engaging in a relationship and then finding it didn't work after all, worse than thinking your feelings were mutual and finding that he loved another, worse than anything. He tells you he wants to walk by your side, share a bit of himself with you, tells you to plan ahead to go to the party! And then when your dream is two seconds from being realized, he pulls back. "I just don't know..." Those just might be the most awful words in the world. They beg for time, beg for patience, when you are in a place that patience cannot dwell. You can't stand forever on the porch; guests will soon approach, the butler will soon open the door; others will soon expect you there. What do you do when you want to enter, and he wants to back away, calling from his cell as soon as you retreat to offer your apologies but that something came up and the guests of honor couldn't attend anymore? You realize that your hands are too attached, like invisible handcuffs to which there is no key. You don't know anymore, he doesn't know anymore, and you can't give yourselves enough distance to figure it out. Yet ironically ýou have all the distance in the world... What do you do when you want to take the plunge but he holds the only life-saving parachute aboard and his feet are firmly planted to the plane? But pardon me, again I'm mixing my metaphors...maybe forever I'm destined to mix my metaphors, destined never again to think straight, destined never again to detach me from these feelings that cry from my gut and the thoughts that scream from my brain. Maybe forever I'm destined to approach my dream and then, two seconds from the end, cruelly and unmercifully the alarm screams--forever I'm destined to a waking reality, rising with the image of the love of my life suddenly breaking those chains turning and fleeing, face full of regret... | 
